So, this post is mostly me getting some stuff off my chest. Feel free to ignore this post, as it IS going to be Pessimistic and it IS not going to go anywhere.
Okay, so. As of late, I have been noticing how I as a person am very "boxed in". I have been taking a step back and looking at myself not as me, but as how others would see me. I see myself as a man who fears change, as a man who cannot and possibly will not evolve because of said fear of change. I also feel like I don't have the ability to grow and expand my branches out as a person.
So, "What does this have to do with mocing"? Well, a lot actually. I feel like my mocing skills have gone no where but in a straight line. I realize that all I build is humanoids, and that I am afraid to do something else. I have also realized something that is pretty much my biggest downfall...
My Standards > My Skills
I have found that recently my skills are not up to par with my standards. This in tern, makes me think that all the Mocs I make are rubbish and should be thrown in the trash can. As of this day, there is only 2 mocs I have made that are decent to me, and that is Ventum V5 and Ventum V6. Everything else seems like garbage and I fear I cannot find a way to change. So now I am stuck in this hole where I can't go up. I really feel like I will never be as good as say, Dylan (Sparky) or anyone else that is really good at NPU and can make a variety of things.
Overall, I really think I am just stuck and cannot do anything. I am afraid to change as I am in fear I will get worse, and I won't get better because I make standard humanoids.
I just wanted to vent and express how I feel on this topic, and sort of let people know how I feel as well. Comments are welcome, and I do appreciate anyone who would be willing to comment.
Thank you for your time, and have a nice day
Listening to: Music